Imagine you have a sadistic friend with a gambling problem and said friend bets you $50 to eat a habanero chili without drinking anything after knowing you can't handle hot food. Since that amount of cash can almost buy you small popcorn at the movie theater, you know you have to take him up on it. So, how do you do it without cheating and swallowing it whole?
Here is a simple trick I learned that will let you try extremely hot food without making you curl up in the fetal position and sob uncontrollably.
Disclaimer: This trick only works to avoid mouth pain. Don't blame me for the violent gastrointestinal party that will more than likely ensue. Also, don't let the chili touch your lips and wash your hands before you use the restroom. Trust me. No one wants to see you rubbing ice cream on yourself to extinguish the fire in your nether regions. Just ask my neighbors.
1. Remove the stem of the chili (if it has one) and if it's a large chili break it in half.
2. Slowly move the chili towards the back corner of your mouth against your cheek without it ever touching your tongue or lips.
3. Push the chili into the slot between your teeth and cheek.
4. Slightly tilt your head back (for saliva control) and mulch the chili into a pulp using the outer edge of your teeth while keeping it in the slot. Don't let it get on your tongue!!!!!!!!!!
5. You want to do the mulching fast enough as to not let your saliva overflow and wash the chili juice onto your tongue. You can do small swallows as you go.
6. The goal is to get the chili mulch/juice down the back of your throat without with as little tongue contact as possible. Yes, I know the tongue goes down the throat but the burning pain mainly happens on the portion inside your mouth cavern.
7. Collect your $50
What to do if you fail and burn your mouth: DON'T DRINK WATER!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Water and other thin liquids will only spread the pain around. Fatty dairy is your friend! Ice cream works best. Milk, ranch or blue cheese dressing, cottage cheese, yogurt, etc will suck up the capsaicin chemical that's causing the pain. If you're lactose intolerant, I've heard Olive Oil will work but I've never tried it.
